Monday, March 20, 2017


I've known to myself and my friends that i LOVE to sleep.
So easily i can sleep that in the lecture my friends would have to 'urut' or give me sweets to prevent from my head to droop or fall on the table.
And like my sister said, 'its amazing that you can sleep anywhere. and every time you lie on the bed, you slept'

i cannot help it though it stressed me out many times because im the kind to understand from the lectures and then it helps on m study and revision. i had my downfall when it goes uncontrollable and  complain to everyone. drinking lots of water really helps but as it is not my habit to drink water, the habit withered faster than i can wish for my next birthday O_o

But now, as i left Egypt for good and living with my mother (as im with her most of the time) i find my sleeping pattern had become hanky panky. guess it is due to my mother was also having sleeping problems and would wake me up in the middle of the night for anything.

i had trouble to adapt to that at first. well a lot of things i find difficult to adapt. everything wanted me to follow their order. but as i let go of myself to be just please with whatever going on, building back my patience and RENEW my intentions, i slooooowly picking up my old good self. not im praising myself but i miss myself that was easily able to do good. because Allah let me to once upon a time and my disastrous self that had slipped all the rights of Allah cause me not able to do much good anymore. thus, there goes the magic of repentance. alhamdulillah :)

but yeah my sleep hasn't settle itself yet.
and now im having dreams that awoken me from sleep. that's even weirder because im not the kind that remembers her dreams, let be to be awaken by one.

im worrying.
about him
about medical as my career

guess im still not mature yet
everyone is going through their next phases of life and im still dwelling in my past
yeah i guess that's the biggest worry im having
im still stuck in my past and so 'big' in it that it kept me awake these days

thats ok i resolute
atleast i can make my move by studying

it has been a long time since i study seriously
need to learn focus

(gara-gara specialist PPUM yang ajar masa course EMSA ni XD)

wallahu alam
until next time
ilial liqaa!